For so many times in the past few months I’ve been yearning to get myself out of my job. My job has made me cry, laugh, cringe, doubt and many other emotions involved. I had no idea what I have gotten myself into, but one thing I’m sure of, I want to RESIGN. I have been working for 8 months now and the reality has never dawned on me until I got into my 5th month and I felt that I was all alone… One big account to another, client complaints here and there, staff concerns, incident reports, census reports and late night calls or even in the wee hours– all these have lined up in my ‘things to do’ that often I don’t have time to organize it. Everything was a mess, and I asked God; ‘Lord am I in the right place? Am I with the right people? Is this really the job you want me to have?’ I was filled with hatred and for me everything doesn’t make sense anymore. I was confused. I have the option of just leaving everything behind, turn my back on this job and apply somewhere else, where things would be less complicated and happier. As part of my daily devotional I read a portion of Elizabeth Elliot’s book, Let Me Be A Woman where she quoted Jim Elliot:
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
I felt so crushed inside, but this line gave me hope that I was in fact in the right place at the right time for the right reasons. It was not for me to try and figure out everything, but to simply trust God that He knows what He is doing for me in my life. Sometimes, we’d want what’s easier for us to do than challenge ourselves with what’s hard. Who would’ve thought I’d survive 9o days without any firsthand experience of being a clinic / mobile head? Only God can do that in my life! My eyes was opened once again to the truth that God would always want what is best for us; BEST may not always mean easy, gliding and just chilling mode but BEST also means that despite the hard road you take, you will come out a BETTER, DISCIPLINED, WISER and REFINED person for God’s glory!
To end, I also want to share this verse from the Bible that has inspired me to go on…
Zechariah 8:9 & 12–
8 Be strong and finish the task! 12 For I am planting seeds of peace and prosperity among you. The grapevines will be heavy with fruit. The earth will produce its crops, and the heavens will release the dew. Once more I will cause the remnant in Judah and Israel to inherit these blessings.
Thank you God that I am a work in progress!