“My Peace I give you…”
It’s true that life’s greatest lessons are learned the hard way. In my last blog, I shared about the lessons I learned from motherhood and true enough it has never been easy since then. We all have our fair share of disappointments and more often than not, it is hard for us to accept defeat. It’s not all the time we’re on top, sometimes we have to go through the bottom to experience what it’s like and learn from it valuable lessons we can apply in the future, should this happen again.
Mine happened 2 weeks after giving birth, I received an email from my US employer telling me she needs to let me go and my other colleague due to business changes. What’s worse is we really need money to sustain four of us in the family. It’s hard not to cry considering I was still having my post partum blues. I reached a point when I was so broken before the Lord and all I could think of was the hurt I am feeling inside. I admit, my whole world came crumbling down and I was trying so hard to beat my emotions but nothing happened. I cried before the Lord and in my anguish I poured my heart and soul to Him to save me from my distress. We hit rock bottom and it was such a humbling moment for me and Rocky that we began to let go of whatever that’s holding us back from trusting the Lord.
For weeks, it was a cycle of emotions that I felt—happy to have our son, lonely being a first time mom, sad for not being able to go out and the list goes on. It was during those times when I all I wanted to do was to do NOTHING. I didn’t want to work, but not to work means I won’t have money and to not have money means I can’t get what I want. I was so accustomed with getting things that I want and my wallet being empty hurts my ego so bad. You see, this is the first time in years that I wasn’t earning and I am not used to it. My job search online went on and on, my restless mind didn’t took a time off.
When finally there was a knock in my heart’s door telling me to REST. From there I took my cue, I RESTED my heart in Jesus and the week after that I got hired by my Australian employer now. She is so similar with my previous boss, the job was even the same but the best thing was that my salary rate was a bit higher this time. PRAISE GOD!
To wrestle with God’s plan is a pain, but to rest in Him means investing for eternal gain.
I could go on telling you about how God has taught me to put my trust in Him in every area of my life, but then each person has different stories to tell. This is my story and for me, to win God’s heart is to seek, delight and rest in Him.