A year ago today I gave birth to a handsome, strong and healthy 6.7 lbs. baby via NSVD (Normal Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery). Though it was one speedy labor and somehow a challenging delivery (after 5 pushes, an encouraging cheer from my OB and a little help from the midwife), the hours that followed proved to be the most critical hours of my life. Not too many people knew how much I have to endure hours after giving birth to Paul. It was one experience I will never forget, an experience that changed me forever from a strong woman to a stronger one.
For a while we thought I was doing great and was on my way to recovery when suddenly I felt a jolt of pain in my lower back. When the OB checked, I was having hemorrhage and it won’t stop.
To cut the long story short, I missed the first few hours where I have to hold my baby close to me and make him feel safe and secure because at that time I also needed comfort and healing.
From that day on, I chose to be stronger than I’ve ever been before. I never gave weakness a chance to eat my physical body and emotions. All I could ever think of that time was to stay strong to fully recover so I can have Paul with me sooner than expected.
Looking at him, I can say everything about Paul was so perfect. It was like a glimpse of heaven here on earth. Such a peaceful sight to behold.
9 months prior giving birth, the human being growing inside of me slowly got bigger and grew each month, development by development. My body changed but all those changes were nothing compared to how he changed my life completely overnight from the time he got out of his comfort zone for 9 long months.
Today, a year have passed and I am beginning to think how quickly he has grown up from a tiny baby who is totally dependent on me to a little man who fights for his independence to do the things he wants to do.
My eyes are welling up with tears as I am writing this, who can blame me? I am a mom who is not perfect, a mom who tries to do her best to love and care for her child, a mom who is willing to do anything to protect and keep my baby safe and a mom who will willingly let go of my baby for him to pursue his destiny as a man, a leader, a world changer and an over comer.
It was a year filled with learning, joy, tears, heartache and laughter. I will gratefully look back to the time when I can still carry him, feed him and take care of him like no one else can, for even when the years may pass longer than I could ever imagine, this memory will vividly stay in my heart forever.
I am not perfect but God knew I’d be the perfect mom to Paul. ❤
Happy birthday my sweet, sweet child! I LOVE YOU!