Tired but Happy and Fulfilled

The Best Feeling Ever!

I used to think that right after giving birth I will get a chance to sleep well with my baby beside me. WRONG. I got it all wrong. Since Paul came, my life changed overnight and it’s been more than one year that I don’t get to sleep well and there wasn’t a time when I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of my restful sleep. I could count the number of times I wake up at night just to feed him or to check if he is in a comfortable position, if he is sweating, I do check when his chest is rising and falling and most of all I stay wide awake just to see his angelic and cute little face.

I am sleep deprived and this often leads me to become moody and irritable. I have not only given up my own comfort but my career and social life too. My life took a 360 degree turn when my little boy came and all that gave me a lot of reasons to become #momemotional. There were moments in my life when I couldn’t help but think what my life would have been had I chosen my career in the corporate world rather than staying at home and become a work at home mom. Will it be nicer having office mates around to laugh with rather than playing with toys, singing nursery rhymes and doing some baby talks? How about working as a manager in the clinic rather than managing my own home, cooking meals and doing chores? I think it’s also rewarding getting compliments from clients and receiving words of appreciation from my boss instead of little hugs and kisses from my baby? Yes, how about wearing fashionable clothes, wearing make up and looking my best every single day rather than wearing my house clothes and looking like a mess after wrestling and playing with him?

When I think of all these things and look at my baby, everything else fades away. I can’t imagine myself being anywhere in this world than here with my boy and having to see him grow is more rewarding and fulfilling. I have to admit, becoming a mom has made me so tired, so exhausted than I have ever been in my entire life but it has also made me so so happy and so so fulfilled!

When I browsed through my Instagram account, I realized my photos are all about Paul and my husband and I. While my friends are humbly bragging of their whereabouts around the world, travelling here and there. It may trigger me to become envious of their life but there’s no way I would exchange any of it with my life now, my world is right here. NO REGRETS.

It always amazes me how some mothers gave up their promising careers to become stay at home moms like me, this too has given them such delight and something tells me I did the right thing and it is an assurance for me to know that I am not alone in this. I have God with me, my supportive husband and a full force of other moms willing to extend help when I do need one. I want to take this time to thank God for giving me a job that allows me to work at home and take care of my baby too. Not all moms get that privilege but I do.

“Lord, may I always have the heart to say ‘THANK YOU’ for all the things you’ve done and the things you are about to do. Sometimes, I may fail to see the positive side of it all, remind me that my purpose here at home is great and that my baby needs me more than anything else right now. At times when I do not know what to do, help me lean on to you and seek for wisdom from you that I may know how to deal and act on certain situations. You are the best person to run to and I trust that you will always be here for me when I need a good and loving arms to cheer me up. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen”

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