An Open Letter To the Tired Moms Everywhere
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An Open Letter To the Tired Moms Everywhere

Dear Tired Mom Like Me,

You are incredibly amazing and you’re doing a great job!

You may be sitting in front of your computer scanning through photos of friends posting about their latest vacays and parties. Ah! Sounds so good and yet there you are just like me, wishing and hoping to visit places and be alone even for just a day. Your hands may be full, it doesn’t matter whether you have clingy toddlers, shy preschoolers or rebellious teenagers. We’ve been there once but having children will make you go through it all over again. I guarantee you that crying helps sometimes, oh wait! Maybe most of the time, it is the answer to ease the tough times you are going through and have to go through every single day. It is okay to cry lady; it’s not a sign of weakness. I always thank my tears for washing out my mind clouded with doubts and negative thoughts, they stir my creative juices again making me braver to face the day ahead.

I know you’re tired; maybe you don’t even have time to finish this letter. Let me tell you that I am tired too; in fact I don’t know how to start or end this letter for you. I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from and that we are on the same page, (for the most part). You may be down and feeling blue, you may get to a point where you don’t know what to do; you have no one to turn to, no one to talk to or listen to you. I get it everyone’s busy living their own lives and there you are staring blankly at the wall, tired and overwhelmed.

On most days, your schedule probably look like this: prepare breakfast, wash dishes, take care of the baby, do the laundry, do groceries, clean the house, take care of the baby, work, take care of the baby, cook lunch, do errands, take care of the baby, cook dinner and the cycle continues…

What do you have there for yourself? Your coffee gets cold all the time, you never finish a movie, you missed the latest episode of The Walking Dead, wait did you just say it already ended? You look at yourself in the mirror and saw strands of your hair in all the wrong places. You held the same book for months now, your normal sleep pattern is down to 4 hours each day or worse they are usually I-N-T-E-R-R-U-P-T-E-D sleep. At the end of the day, you’re exhausted and just want to crawl up in bed and get a good massage.

Losing your patience and showing your anger doesn’t make you less of a mom. Kids will love you for being you just as you love them for being them.

Don’t worry tired mom, you’ll soon get your life back but you’ll surely miss the days when you have to deal with tantrums, pukes and scattered toys. Children grow up fast with just a blink of an eye; I know that deep inside that tired, weary soul is a tender loving mother who would willingly and undyingly do anything and everything just to keep them safe and secure. You may be the type of mom who just like me would rather miss a concert, skip social events, lack sleep and nurse an aching body at home just to be with your kids.

To me nothing is more special than watching cartoons with my son, play with toys and make learning fun for him, going to coffee shops together even if it means calling his attention from time to time, chasing him around and dragging him to our travels.

After all that’s been said and done, one thing’s for sure—we are tired but happy and fulfilled being a mother and it’s all worth it.

Thank you Lord for the strength you give the mothers everywhere. Proverbs 31.

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What I Learned from Being a Mum

Mummy Learnings…

I stumbled upon a parenting article that struck me to the core and I immediately had a mumma meltdown all because I have been too exhausted for the past few weeks.
I’ve been tempted to yell and roll over the floor to express my frustrations but looking at my son the thought of it made me feel so embarassed to myself.

Being a mum is overwhelming but rewarding at the same time. Time is fleeting indeed and though I am looking forward to the day that I can have uninterrupted sleep, coffee time, work and me time, I still have no plans of trading my duties being Paul’s mother.

All too soon there will be no more cartoon sounds on the background, toys rumbling and a child shouting “mommy”. He is fast growing up and will do things on his own without my help, all these stuff I will surely miss.

I may wish for my life back when it was just me and my husband but someday soon I will also wish for that time when we used to have a crying baby, diaper changing, breastfeeding moments, unbearable wake up calls, messy house and playtimes in our bedroom and on the floor.

I am making every moment count, giving more value to time and loving my family the best way I could. ME TIME? Nah! I can get plenty of those in the years to come. Right now all I want are little hugs, sweet smooches, wrestling matches and climbing sessions to save in our memory bank of love.

What I learned from being a mum:

1. Never get tired of capturing moments.
2. Spend time with your kids.

3. Play all day if you must.

4. Make memories.

5. Love more than you could.

6. Serve your family happily.

7. Don’t try to be perfect. They love you for who you are.

8. Hug and kiss a lot.

9. Cover them in prayer.

10. Put down the phone and talk.


My Lunch

Those were the days…

It’s funny how my lunch today reminded me of the days when it was just me and Paul at home for 4 months. It was those days when I worked, fed him, put him to bed, play with him and do house chores. When I eat lunch, I have to make sure he is sleeping so I can cook without distractions and while cooking I have to ran back and forth every 3 minutes from the kitchen to the room to make sure he doesn’t fall off the bed (he doesn’t have crib). When it’s time for me to eat, I eat alone facing the wall or watch TV and for what seemed like eternity I could feel my stomach churn longing for my husband’s presence (he’s at work).

Now that we have house help, that makes us three at home when my husband is at work. I missed the times I have alone with Paul … Right now, I am eating lunch ALONE (the helper went out for an errand) reminiscing of those times and looking back I realized how brave I was!

Here’s lunch today!  Yum! 🙂

To My Toddler

All the firsts I’ve had with you surely made it in my long term memory. I’m not sure how long I could keep it but I will forever embrace it in my heart and in my soul. I wish I had known before how quickly you’d grow up and how fast you’ll be able to learn things. I am still stuck to the time when you were just a newborn, then a month old and then the next months went by swiftly I could hardly catch up. It’s a good thing I took lots of pictures, almost everyday since day 1 and wrote in my blog every milestone I have witnessed. I find all your photos cute, comforting, assuring, amusing, funny and memorable to look at.  You gave me a sense of pride, joy and deep love not even words could explain. 

Though pain sometimes accompanied my ‘first’ experiences with you, I’d rather go through it all again coz I know it would also become the last. All too soon, I may not be able to cuddle you, play with you on the floor or look silly just to make you laugh. You’d go out on your own, live your life and explore the endless possibilities of your existence in this world.

You’re the only one who could make me feel drowned and lost in a moment, whether it’s breastfeeding you or rocking you to sleep. I look at you in the deep of the night, just looking at your innocent and angelic face gave me more reason to experience motherhood at a different level.

Mornings have become special and an addiction I look forward to everyday. I love seeing your wide grin and huge smile the moment you open your eyes and see me. Not seeing me meant a loud cry from you and a reason for me to quickly grab you and hug you tight just to let you know everything’s gonna be alright.

I used to dread having to breastfeed you, I got all kinds of pain I never knew existed before. A year has gone and passed by, now it’s me who doesn’t want to let go. I dread for the time to come that you will stop and wouldn’t want to feed from me anymore. It may be exhausting but now all I know is I just want to hold you closer more than ever.

I wish for you to know how much joy you bring into my life and your dad’s life. Whether it was talking ‘minion-ish’, covering your mouth when you cough, yawn, cry or laugh, walking in a penguin-like manner, picking up toys and munching on them and eating while your mouth is covered with bits and pieces of food around it. You made me learn how to appreciate the little things in life, some things unnoticeable have become something I took time to notice like lizards on the wall, ants on the floor, insects flying and weird sounds. 

You make folding of clothes a whole lot better and cleaning up of the house a fun thing to do. You taught mommy how to sing the ABC’s in 100 different tunes, you made me memorize nursery rhymes by heart and play toys for boys. 

Putting you to bed is also a bit of a challenge bringing out the best and worse in me. Bed time stories, singing lullabyes and kissing you good night will always be favourite. 

Now, I’m looking at you while you take your afternoon nap I just want to kiss you and hold you close. Your face, your eyes, your nose, your chin and your lips, I look at you and I see a resemblance of your dad’s face and mine as I whisper, “this must be love!” I look at you intently so I would remember your cute little face forever. There will never be another day, or another time in my whole life where this experience will have to repeat itself. All of it will be one of its kind, a memory worth holding on to, a love worth fighting for.

Paul, you are my joy, a big part of me I will love and treasure forever and ever. I love you!❤️

   
    
   

Tired but Happy and Fulfilled

The Best Feeling Ever!

I used to think that right after giving birth I will get a chance to sleep well with my baby beside me. WRONG. I got it all wrong. Since Paul came, my life changed overnight and it’s been more than one year that I don’t get to sleep well and there wasn’t a time when I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of my restful sleep. I could count the number of times I wake up at night just to feed him or to check if he is in a comfortable position, if he is sweating, I do check when his chest is rising and falling and most of all I stay wide awake just to see his angelic and cute little face.

I am sleep deprived and this often leads me to become moody and irritable. I have not only given up my own comfort but my career and social life too. My life took a 360 degree turn when my little boy came and all that gave me a lot of reasons to become #momemotional. There were moments in my life when I couldn’t help but think what my life would have been had I chosen my career in the corporate world rather than staying at home and become a work at home mom. Will it be nicer having office mates around to laugh with rather than playing with toys, singing nursery rhymes and doing some baby talks? How about working as a manager in the clinic rather than managing my own home, cooking meals and doing chores? I think it’s also rewarding getting compliments from clients and receiving words of appreciation from my boss instead of little hugs and kisses from my baby? Yes, how about wearing fashionable clothes, wearing make up and looking my best every single day rather than wearing my house clothes and looking like a mess after wrestling and playing with him?

When I think of all these things and look at my baby, everything else fades away. I can’t imagine myself being anywhere in this world than here with my boy and having to see him grow is more rewarding and fulfilling. I have to admit, becoming a mom has made me so tired, so exhausted than I have ever been in my entire life but it has also made me so so happy and so so fulfilled!

When I browsed through my Instagram account, I realized my photos are all about Paul and my husband and I. While my friends are humbly bragging of their whereabouts around the world, travelling here and there. It may trigger me to become envious of their life but there’s no way I would exchange any of it with my life now, my world is right here. NO REGRETS.

It always amazes me how some mothers gave up their promising careers to become stay at home moms like me, this too has given them such delight and something tells me I did the right thing and it is an assurance for me to know that I am not alone in this. I have God with me, my supportive husband and a full force of other moms willing to extend help when I do need one. I want to take this time to thank God for giving me a job that allows me to work at home and take care of my baby too. Not all moms get that privilege but I do.

“Lord, may I always have the heart to say ‘THANK YOU’ for all the things you’ve done and the things you are about to do. Sometimes, I may fail to see the positive side of it all, remind me that my purpose here at home is great and that my baby needs me more than anything else right now. At times when I do not know what to do, help me lean on to you and seek for wisdom from you that I may know how to deal and act on certain situations. You are the best person to run to and I trust that you will always be here for me when I need a good and loving arms to cheer me up. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen”

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Little Wanderer

Walking Paul…

We’ve been so eager to see Paul take his real steps now that he is officially one year old. Some babies start to walk earlier than one year but from what I have read from baby center, this milestone will take other babies longer to develop like up to 24 months! Good thing we already trained him to stand up and balance himself since he was 7 months old but it was only last week when he took the courage to walk alone and transfer from one place to another. Although he was already walking when he was 9 months old, I believe at that time his muscles weren’t as strong as it is now and he wasn’t as confident as he is now. As first time parents, we’re so proud to see him take off and yes, happy to free our shoulders and arms from carrying him around. The downside, back ache from running after him and picking him up when he’s taking a dangerous route! Still, it is super fun and fulfilling!;-)

I would like to call him now our little wanderer. I can’t wait to travel with this guy and go to places around the world.:-)  

Monday Random Thoughts

3 more months…

3 more months to go before #PaulParcs turns 1. I have often wondered where did the time go? And though I’ve asked this a million times in my head, I am beginning to realize he will soon be taking his first step, eat his own meal, go to school and will do stuff all by himself. I can’t even take a decent picture of him nowadays because of his movement, it’s either hazy or blurry. He can now stand on his own, make smacking sounds with his lips, make a ‘cute’ look if he wants to be carried by me and even raise his voice louder to get what he wants. All too soon, these things will become a memory for me to reminisce and one thing for sure, he will outgrow my arms and lap–no longer will I be able to carry him. Though it’s getting a bit hard for me to swallow the fact that my baby is getting bigger and growing up everyday, I am trying my best to be strong and to raise him well as a person. I may wish him to be a tiny baby forever so I could carry him most of the time but he has a destiny to fulfill. I wonder how many moms out there share the same sentiments as I do? Will I be able to discipline him well? Train and direct him to where he must go and what he must be? I have too many worries but God’s word assures me that he will guide us as a family. This is no joke and I found out that it ain’t easy raising up another human being but too many parents did it, some with even 4 or more kids. So definitely we can do this, we will make it fun and we will make lots of good memories together! That’s all for today… One more thing, I hope he will still look at me like a love-struck fool even when he grows up.haha 🙂

Our little man...

Our little man…

Sand, Sea, Skies, Summer

Sand, Sea, Skies, Summer

My summer loves!

My summer loves!